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I feel very fortunate to have being able to choose to be a stay at home mum, and feel our children are very well rounded, responsible and respectful members of society because that is the way I have brought them up. I feel sorry for women who haven’t had the support and opportunity I have had from my husband to be able to stay at home and bring up their children the way they want to, instead having to allow other people, often complete strangers to instil the values of life into their kids (which quite often aren’t the same values as yours).

Being a stay at home mum does not suit all women. It is quite often a very thankless job with no recognition except for that kiss on the cheek from your sticky toddler – what more recognition do you need.

Making the Decision to Stay At Home

When I fell pregnant with our first baby, my husband and I made a joint decision that we were going to be the ones to bring up our children. To do this, we did make a lot of material sacrifices. We sold our house which was unsustainable on one income and our holidays were quite often spent visiting family and friends instead of trips to Vanuatu, but we knew that our children were being raised the way we wanted them raised.

We moved to a town where the cost of living was cheaper and my husband was able to get a better paid job, rebuilt our new home and stayed within our budget. To supplement our income and to keep me sane, I found a job where I started in the afternoon when my husband would come home, and take over the childcare. Yes it was tough and quite often tricky as my husband’s hours weren’t run of the mill, so I would occasionally have to drop our little one off at his work or even sometimes take him to work with me (which was ok as I worked in a childcare centre at a resort so he would get to play with the other kids).

You Can Choose – Be A Stay At Home Mum or Have A Career

I guess what I am trying to say is that it is your choice to be a stay at home mum and take care of your kids or you can go back to work and leave your children in the care of others. Don’t let people make you feel worthless or guilty as everybody has the right to make the decision which is right for there particular circumstances.

It is possible for you to be a stay at home mum if that’s what you really want to do. You just need to make a few changes to your lifestyle to enable you to live off one income. No we don’t have the latest gadgets or live in the fanciest house on the street but I did get to see my childrens first steps and console them when they were having a bad day and now I am able to go in the middle of the day to watch them receive certificates or the like on parade and see their classroom play. These moments are irreplaceable.

Our decision for me to be a stay at home mum, has been the right one for us and now my children are becoming less dependent (although sometimes I wonder) I now have the time to pursue my own dreams and goals.

Have a Great Day
Jackie Stenhouse – www.creativewomenonline.com
(Mum of 3 wonderful kids)

As a mother of three teenagers I feel I have an obligation to all you unsuspecting parents who still have cute, cuddly, loving little people in your lives, about what life will be like when you are raising teenagers.

As far as teenagers go, I think I’ve got pretty good ones.   They don’t drink or smoke or stay up late.  They don’t do drugs or wag school.  They don’t loiter around shops or disrespect strangers.  They do however look at me strangely when I say I love them and plead with me not to “say anything” which may embarrass them in front of their friends.

Teenagers seem to have this right of passage.  The world revolves around them and heaven forbid if you have made plans for yourself and the teenager doesn’t fit into them, the world is turned upside down.

Try cuddling a teenager and you will get hands pushed into your ribs as they try to get away.  They will only talk to you when it suits them and you will only be grunted at if you ask a question about their day or how they are going.  They will only talk to you if it suits them.   My kids favourite word at the moment is “uiidno” which translates to “I don’t know” whenever they are asked where something is or what’s happened to the remote.

I Never Thought Raising Teenagers Would be Such Hard Work

Every year of your childs life is a stage they have to go through to reach the next one.  You go through the newborn stage and then teething , then crawling, then walking, then toilet training.  Then before you know it they are off to school.  You are there to hold their hand the whole way and are happy to do it.

Then one day they turn 13 and the world has changed.  Hormones start going rampant through your child’s body, they start getting pimples, and worst of all they develop an “attitude” the size of an Olympic pool.  Your way of parenting for the last 13 years goes out the window and it’s a whole new ball game.  You need to step back and give them space.  Needless to say, you still need to know where they are 24hrs a day, but it’s time to start slowly letting them develop into responsible adults and teaching them to become valuable, respectful members of society.

Even though raising teenagers seems to be like travelling down a bumpy road, I know mine will come out the other end as wonderful adults who will show empathy and respect for others and become productive and happy members of society.  I love my teenagers.

Have a Great Day

Jackie Stenhouse

Whether you have one child or ten, chances are you suffer from what I call Parents Stress.  We can’t help it.   We want the best for our kids and if we can’t have the best – we stress.

In the 21st Century a new type of parents stress is emerging,  that being,   whether to go back to work or stay home with your children to be their primary care giver.  When my husband and I decided to have children, we made a decision that I would be the one to stay home and take care of the kids.   We have three children with  my eldest  now 16  and I am proud to say I have been there every step of the way and I am so grateful that I have had the support of my husband to be able to do this.   Not all families are so fortunate.

We have made a lot of financial sacrifices for me to be able to do this, even moving towns at times to chase the higher paid work or cheaper real estate,   but needless to say I have three very happy,  well rounded kids who all excel academically and fit into the world in a more then acceptable manner.

What Can You do to Reduce Parents Stress

One of the biggest stresses that parents have is trying not to neglect their kids, while still maintaining their busy schedules, and meeting all their obligations.   Most parents would love the opportunity to stay home with their kids and not have to work, but unfortunately, most parents never get that option, because they need the income that their job provides.

Realistically,  plan your schedule and leave enough time to accomplish each task will make a difference in the amount of stress and the amount of time that you have.  Instead of wearing yourself out trying to finish an impossible list, learn how to budget your time and make sure that the important things get done first.

Learning how to effectively manage your time can get you and your family off the to-do list treadmill and on your way to having more time to spend together and enjoy your relationships with family and friends.

Get informed and inspired  and be the Mom you really want to be with our great tips and ideas – and take care of yourself well too!

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We would like to invite you to make a comment on your personal experiences on being pregnant or becoming a parent.  I have three children and have experienced three completely different pregnancies and births, from premature labor to caserean section. My first child arrived 6 weeks early and it was a very frightening experience after I started bleeding at 32 weeks. I was very unsure of what was happening and felt emotionally wrecked when I left hospital after giving birth to my beautiful little boy, without him.  I felt very blessed to have him and after 3 long weeks of him staying in the special care unit, he was ready to come home.  He hasn't looked back and is now over 6 feet at 14 years of age. So even though we had a shaky start, we are very fortunate to have a very healthy and happy child. I would love to hear your story and it may even help other women going through the same thing. 

Jackie, Chief Editor

CreativeWomenOnline