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Anxiety separation in children can quite often lead to the whole family feeling distressed and guilty every time you need to leave your child in the care of someone else. I think everbody who has a child, has experienced a little separation anxiety, but for some kids it can be a harrowing experience to leave their familiar surroundings and principal caregiver and go to school or a daycare facility.

What is Separation Anxiety

Anxiety in children when separated from their main carer happens when a child starts to become aware of the difference between their main carers – usually their parents, and their secondary carers – usually babysitters or daycare centre staff.

The age a child may start to experience anxiety during separation is usually around eight months and may last until school age. Some kids may not experience any separation anxiety as they feel confident that their main carer will come back.

When a child is suffering from anxiety separation disorder, they will cry and cling to their primary caregiver. In milder cases a child will settle down once their loved one leaves and may get upset again once the carer comes back and they remember they have been left.

How to Help Anxiety Separation in Children

The main thing is not to get upset when leaving your child. This will only make the matter worse.  Make sure there is a lot of reassurance that you will be back to pick them up.

Tell them where you are going and what time they expect you back.  If your child is too young to know time, give them an indication such as “Mummy will be back after you have lunch”.

If its your first time at leaving your child somewhere unfamiliar, take them for a few visits beforehand and stay with them so they get to know the place and feel comfortable.

Always do a thorough check of the person you intend to leave your child with.   If your child doesn’t settle within good time, you may have to look at alternatives like asking someone your child is familiar with to look after them.

Anxiety Separation in children is something they should grow out of but if it continues as the child gets older, you should seek advice from a professional.

We would like to invite you to make a comment on your personal experiences on being pregnant or becoming a parent.  I have three children and have experienced three completely different pregnancies and births, from premature labor to caserean section. My first child arrived 6 weeks early and it was a very frightening experience after I started bleeding at 32 weeks. I was very unsure of what was happening and felt emotionally wrecked when I left hospital after giving birth to my beautiful little boy, without him.  I felt very blessed to have him and after 3 long weeks of him staying in the special care unit, he was ready to come home.  He hasn't looked back and is now over 6 feet at 14 years of age. So even though we had a shaky start, we are very fortunate to have a very healthy and happy child. I would love to hear your story and it may even help other women going through the same thing. 

Jackie, Chief Editor

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